How I handle conflict

I don’t.





When you share your political position on Facebook, you’re opening yourself up to conflict. This is never my purpose. I don’t shy away from opinions different from mine, but I don’t care to get in a never ending comment reply argument where neither party will concede. Too many notifications.

I did this yesterday. I wrote my thoughts on the election, why I chose to vote for love and why white people need to shush up about what they cannot understand. I hoped my refusal to fight online would spur the trolls to stay away, but I was wrong.

Here’s the thing – I didn’t vote based on parties or policies. I don’t care about the things you’ve done. I looked at how the candidates treated people and how I thought they would lead. To me, this is most important. The greatest commandment given is to love God with all our mind, body and soul. The second and equally important is to love others as yourself. In my mind, I wasn’t loving other people like Jesus by choosing a candidate who used hateful words and threats toward people different than him.

My argument was Jesus. I wasn’t looking for a political spin or justification or for a white guy to tell me I was overreacting. Fortunately, I got it all.

My mom told me I was sliding down the liberal slope. At least she complimented my writing so like my path to the left, I’ll let it slide (ba dum tssss). A few replied in support, including one of our pastor’s wives, so that felt nice. But there were the people who wanted to engage more.

I won’t detail all of them, only one guy. He is the straight, white Trump supporter from a small town. He will tell you he didn’t want Trump, that he was backed into a corner, but it’s hogwash. I’m not saying Trump was his first choice, but when you spend your time defending him all over Facebook, you need to check yourself.

My thoughts weren’t overwhelming original, especially my point about now is the time for Trump supporters to see their role is to show they aren’t racist instead of telling the world who now accuses them they aren’t. I’ve known a lot of people who aren’t racists and then a lot of racists who will assure you they aren’t racist.

Part of the idea was white people need to stop telling everyone to not worry and move on. Sharing articles with facts doesn’t stop the fear in the heart of millions in America now facing at least four years with a guy who spent his entire campaign tearing them down. I know I’m very privileged, but as a woman, I was targeted.

Even worse, most of America shrugged that off. He’s a guy, it doesn’t mean anything. Dear country, that really hurts. Some of the most important women in my life have been sexually assaulted and it breaks my heart knowing a man like Trump is now our leader.


This guy will seek out anyone and try to justify himself. I wish I had the energy to go to every Trump supporter, especially the women, and comment lengthy replies on their statuses, but I simply unfollow them like an adult. Kidding (in most cases).

The day the world fell apart, when half of America grieved for Hillary Clinton’s loss, I shared an article about what it meant for America and explained why I cried and cried all day. This guy chimed with some asinine comment I don’t remember because it didn’t matter. The next day, even though I didn’t reply, he added another comment. Cool, troll.

He chimed in today not understanding why people were afraid. I wanted to scream at him in my comment that he would never understand because he didn’t want to. Still I ignored, but one of my Facebook friends decided to call out all the horrible things Trump has said against women, Muslims, Mexicans, the LGBTQ community and more.

Obviously, white guy commented back, addressing each group with a separate comment (real annoying for my notifications). He ended saying he could see why they were upset, but it was an overreaction and excused Trump’s statements as poor word choices.

I shared my feelings because now isn’t the time to remain silent when the country is divided. I’m not trying to fuel the conflict or further the divide. The only thing that will bring us back is love and I don’t think it will happen under Trump. But I will spend every second being true to my beliefs.

I didn’t share for mansplanation about equality.

But that is what I got. Hopefully he keeps commenting when I post my feelings so I can continue to ignore him and watch him continue to comment as if it matters. You aren’t commenting for conversation; you’re seeking conflict and to be right and to justify your choice.

If I say in a post, white people you need to shush up, your solution shouldn’t be the slide into the comments section with your flags waving.

What I did learn is people will see their side. Trump voters say we’re overreacting and cry babies and we need to move on not worry. Clinton supporters are fighting harder than ever and in disbelief no one sees what we see. Everyone else has checked out which might be more upsetting. Now is not the time to bow out.

People looking for a quick return to normalcy on social media are expecting unity to occur post haste in our country. Something cracked November 8. We cracked as a nation. Trump is the duct tape who will attempt to hold us together. The world will see this sloppy job and wonder why we couldn’t do it right the first time. The tape will fray and more and more we’ll see it can’t hold us together.

It will snap.

Do I think a president is the solution we need? No. We the people need to come together now and fight for equality. And keep fighting keep fighting keep fighting keep fighting and never give up. Having a leader with similar values helps, but you can’t put your hope on one person.

Unless that person is Jesus, obviously. I know He’s with us, but we need to make America great again by showing each other why we’re great.

I feel like this hit a lot of different areas, but that’s ok. Sometimes we need to ramble to find the truth.

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