Live Commenting for ‘A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding’

So I literally just finished rewatching the first A Christmas Prince and I had a lot more thoughts than I anticipated. Let’s hope that’s because I had a whole year to think about it.  Now it’s time for the sequel and Netflix just steamrolled me right into with hardly 20 seconds to decide if it’s really what I wanted.

Before I start, I’m going to make myself a single person mug cake so I can party in style.

A few predictions:

  • The Converses will reappear, probably at the wedding
  • Hopefully Sophia and Simon have a child together and are still awful human beings
  • There will be Christmas hijinks
  • Everything will work out

Leggo.

Note: Below are spoilers and likely errors, but editing is for people who care.

  • This is an abbreviated version of how the first started
  • Her site is ‘Amber’s Blog.’ Compelling.
  • Amber’s a celebrity now. Cool. But she’s still her. Don’t worry.
  • So she’s not a popular blogger because of her talent. It’s because she’s marrying a prince. Further evidence she is a terrible journalist.
  • New father makes a joke about feeling like a brand new man to make a joke about how it’s a new actor
  • Some jerk who will inevitably turn up at the palace stole the dad’s cab
  • Why did this guy not greet them 20 minutes ago? Joseph would be disappointed #GenoviaRules
  • Why is there a new dad actor? Did they need someone with range beyond generic statements of encouragement?
  • More comments about how the previous father looked
  • CONVERSE SIGHTING
  • Okay so this guy is a friendly dad with no understanding of how to treat royal people. I get that it’s who he is, but also he’s not a dumb guy.
  • I’m enjoying their dynamic and the fact that they didn’t instantly get married, so clearly there love is real.
  • Well she’s wearing heels with this cocktail dress so apparently she’s learning a little
  • How is this wedding not planned yet? It’s a royal wedding.
  • Of course the taxi stealer is the wedding planner. I hate him already.
  • I’m also 100% over how Amber calls her dad Pop
  • Princess Emily is a saint and I won’t write anything negative about her
  • She’s sleeping in full makeup. I want a movie that shows women who take care of their skin. We’re underrepresented.
  • We’ve mentioned Jimmy Choo as her wedding shoe and she questioned it. I’m feeling more like my Converse-at-the-wedding-theory is correct
  • How is the dress not done yet? Is it easy to plan a wedding in a week when you’re rich?
  • I love how the modernization conflict is the core of this story. No contemporary dress for you.
  • NowBeat/BeatNow was her magazine and it shut down. Who’s surprised by that? At least they acknowledge it was disreputable garbage.
  • More Christmas carols on the piano. Before I looked up I assumed it was Richard again.
  • Fake Joseph is clearly a progressive saint here to help Amber be herself
  • How do people not know why this country is bleeding money? Is someone stealing it?
  • SIMON!
  • I didn’t like Miss Avril in the first one but now I’m sure she’s the worst
  • Is the father going to fall in love with the chef?
  • I’m taking notes like Amber again.
  • “excuse my pausing, I’m in shock”
  • Richard is still wearing Old Navy sweaters
  • This Leopold man went to Monaco. Still waiting for a map to see where Aldovia is
  • It obviously wasn’t going to be Lord Leopold. Everyone look at Simon like that was a soap opera dream. What’s he up to. I have no idea how, but I’m sure he’s somehow stealing the country’s money
  • He and Sophia are divorced which is a tragedy. One prediction wrong already.
  • Simon is going to screw these people over after they decided to forgive him. SCUM OF THE EARTH.
  • New prediction: Amber will wear Queen Helena’s actual dress
  • Also this dress looks noting like the sketch?
  • okay she’s definitely going to wear Converse for her wedding
  • Even Emily is on the Converse trend
  • This performance will go on, that I am sure of. Also this Tom Quill (is that his name?) is a real cutie patootie.
  • So all of this has to be solved within 24 hours? Unless they put on the play without a real crew. This is a cheesy Christmas movie, of course it will resolve quickly.
  • Will Leopold and Helena find love? It’s been two years since the king’s death
  • I don’t believe in Simon’s sound plan. I believe he is the devil.
  • Or is Leopold the scoundrel? I’m starting to think maybe. Perhaps he set up the plans to siphon money to himself. Maybe Simon can actually save the kingdom.
  • What am I saying.
  • They’re all standing around having a toast while the country is in turmoil
  • They’re still talking about the taxi stealing. Will it ever end. Also they clearly aren’t even looking at Christmas trees. Also she insists on a cone and settles for the Charlie Brown tree only bigger.
  • THEY’RE FINALLY ALL GOING ON TOBOGGANS
  • The queen’s hat is incredible
  • This green screen is horrendous but they’re acting the crap out of it
  • I’m really still thinking Leopold is actually the bad guy. Sorry Simon. Unless I’m wrong.
  • These kids in the kitchen are giving me anxiety. Who’s going to clean this up? The chef gets it. She understands my concerns. Or is she crying because of something other than a clean kitchen?
  • I can’t believe the Internet cares this much about the Aldovian royal family. It must be time for the conflict where she’s told to stop writing.
  • Even my best friend wouldn’t constantly monitor my blog to see if pictures came down from my blog. And my best friend is the best best friend.
  • PROTOCOL is the absolute worst. I don’t know why I’m upset. Protocol is obviously going to change.
  • Chattering will not disrupt makeup. Does this guy know anything? If you’re using high quality makeup, it will last. End of story. Also what kind of makeup can’t handle talking.
  • I WAS RIGHT! Tears of nostalgia from the chef. Also she talks about a hard life and has a vague Russian accent. Makes sense.
  • Amber’s hair would definitely be styled better for a royal portrait. I think it looks fine, but considering these strict standards they’d demand something more traditional. I bet they take a new portrait later where they’re smiling and not solemn.
  • That final project was awesome.
  • RICHARD IS BACK ON THE PIANO WITH THE CAROLS. Bring it, Ludwig.
  • We’re doing archery in the courtyard again. But why are they letting Amber handle a bow? OMG she legitimately could’ve killed one of her friends.
  • I don’t think how Amber lives her life is wrong, but why are her best friends best friends with her? They always want to party and she’s about working. To each their own, but why do they want to hang out with her?
  • I’m really on team ‘Simon isn’t the bad guy’ and I want to be right.
  • I’m excited she’s back on her note taking game.
  • Meadowlark
  • Fishy
  • I hope Simon is good AND falls in love with the best friend
  • Why don’t they have the door shut for these conversations?
  • They really hyped a bachelorette party that I would enjoy but it felt like a weird choice for them
  • King Richard is not at all the lion heart like his namesake. Also 100% not his namesake but it’s all I think about
  • Can we just fire Miss Avril already
  • It’s def Leopold. Despite the fact I figured it out early, it wasn’t the most obviously telegraphed storyline, so kudos to that. Or maybe it’s just another case of my lowered standards.
  • This movie is much more dramatic than the last one. It’s definitely more rom dram than rom com
  • Okay I’m all for drama but to pull a bow and arrow on someone is a bit far. You can accidentally release that and maybe hurt someone who wasn’t the bad guy.
  • I mean I know I was hard on Simon but I think his redemption was a good story choice. He’s even the best man.
  • I know they wanted it to be their wedding, but this feels too low-key. But Emily’s boyfriend is there so I’m happy.
  • Where did they get that dress overnight?
  • YEP THERE’S THE BEDAZZLED SHOES. Why does she have to show everyone?
  • I don’t care about this wedding at all
  • Okay so we’re setting up so many couples right now. Just like everyone’s getting paired. Can I come to this wedding to find my soulmate?
  • Really though how long can a conga go
  • SETTING UP ANOTHER SEQUEL ‘THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR’ YES PLEASE!

Okay so there was more political intrigue in this one and not enough Christmas for my standards. But overall a real achievement.

Here are my movie three predictions:

  • It will be about the queen marrying Fake Joseph
  • Amber will be pregnant or coming to terms with being pregnant
  • Hopefully Simon is the star
  • Everyone just lives in Aldovia now to make it easy

Live Thoughts About ‘A Christmas Prince’

Not to brag, but I was an early adopter to A Christmas Prince. Before the insane amount of attention, I was just a girl, sitting in front of a screen, trying to decide how to spend my Friday evening. A new Netflix movie had released and I’m generally a fan of the Netflix content I’d watched, so I thought why not.

Man. Woof.

Here we are a year later, celebrating the long awaited sequel. Despite having watched the movie multiple times last Christmas season, I strangely hadn’t been back in the time since. Before diving into The Royal Wedding, I wanted to recapture the magic of those two days where our leads fell in love.

Let’s see how this goes.

To set the scene, it’s 6:30 on a Friday night and I’m naturally already in my pajamas (a nightgown saying ‘Let’s Sleep In.’ I only wear it when I can actually sleep in the next day). My dinner is beside me – a delicious plate of pizza bagel bites and macaroni and cheese. This will surprise you, but I’m actually an adult in my late 20s.

Please forgive the typos I inevitably make because I’m not editing this at all.

  • It’s starting but I realize I don’t actually remember how this movie starts
  • Ah yes, city at Christmas porn
  • “Ugly Christmas Sweaters of the Stars”
  • I forgot she’s a “real” journalist who’s stuck as a junior editor and getting rejected left and right. She’s probably not a good writer
  • No one cares about royalty from small countries. Also why would a celebrity magazine send her editor to cover this political matter just because of his ‘royal hotness’
  • That’s right. Every girl is recovering from a serious breakup that happened a long time ago but they still aren’t ready
  • The dad thinks it will be a big break but apparently he doesn’t know that no one cares about royal drama from non-existent countries
  • I do like that he’s not laying on the guilt trip because his wife is dead and he’s going to be alone for Christmas
  • I want someone to show me on a map where this country is. It has to be England adjacent because they all have English accents
  • Yeah the prince was selfish taking her cab but he was actually really polite about it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Journalists grumpy because they’re covering a press conference that was supposed to feature a notorious flake of a prince. Are press actually this “ahhhh” and “ohhh”?
  • My favorite part about all these Christmas movies is when people are outside bundled up but they clearly aren’t cold. Do you know what happens when you’re outside in the frigid air? Your eyes water, your nose runs, and the wind is insufferable. It aint cute.
  • Wouldn’t you also ask her name instead of just saying it at her? Or saying she must be a tutor? I don’t know why I’m dissecting this dumb plot point
  • Mad that press is in town and call them parasites but you also called a press conference which means you invited them?
  • Prince Richard looks straight up homeless and not in a hot hipster way
  • So immediately we can tell Richard is not in fact a douche because he’s a great big brother
  • “Who are you and what are you doing in my palace?” Savage
  • I will say I like Richard more than the piece of cardboard who was in The Princess Switch which is surprising
  • Editor supporting this crime in a foreign country. Solid journalism.
  • “There’s nothing loose about this goose”
  • She freaks out at the mouse even though she said she liked mice to prove she’s *cool* but is clearly surprised and terrified to see it there
  • I keep saying she. I don’t know this character’s real name. Fake name Martha.
  • Why does Princess Emily know she’s from Minnesota?
  • Why does she assume she’s wondering what’s wrong with her? As an adult Fake Martha probably has her own assumptions and isn’t concerned about her wheelchair
  • Okay so Richard is doing archery in a garden three feet from a target. You can say you’re adjusting your sights but I know. Now you’re showing off your skills like you’re some master archer
  • I’ve already taken so many notes. This is exhausting.
  • When Fake Martha says “Awesome High Five” she sounds like a robot trying to express excitement
  • Her friends are the opposite of interesting and helpful
  • I just remembered she always wears Converse. You’re not an emo teenager from 2003, Fake Martha. Be an adult and wear real shoes. It’s annoying but also I’ll be disappointed if she doesn’t wear them to her wedding?
  • Also she’s the most obvious photo taker of all time. ALL TIME.
  • Okay so the more I see Prince Richard the more I genuinely enjoy him. In my defense, I’ve watched a lot of Hallmark Christmas movies recently so my bar is low.
  • Also this douche Simon is awful and overcompensating. Probably because his name is Lord Ducksbury
  • She is not blushing
  • “Where there’s a tiara, there’s dirt. Trust me.” Okay.
  • Let me obvious film Prince Richard playing the piano and no one will think I’m either an undercover creep OR I’m obsessed with the prince and I’m going to try to kill him
  • Lady Sophia is clearly the worst. Why is the queen trying to make fetch happen.
  • If he would’ve dropped her heart ornament I would’ve moved this movie to the top of my favorites list
  • Also Fake Martha’s journalism is about as good and thorough as this list I’m writing
  • Amber. Her name is Amber. Thank you Princess Emily
  • Where did these rumors about Prince Richard come from? Why do they exist if he is clearly boring?
  • Poor Richard gets interrupted every time he’s trying to get his Christmas piano playing on. Man just wants to be festive
  • I can tell this is a fake country because there’s no security around all these royals. Even Genovia gets security.
  • Why do these small countries always have quaint little orphanages? Why do orphans sell so well?
  • These adults are romantically romping about while poor Emily is just lying in the snow
  • Why are Sophia and Simon on a carriage ride? She clearly doesn’t like him or the cold. I mean I know it’s for the plot but it’s real dumb.
  • Amber’s notes again. Holy cow. It’s not surprising she gets so many rejection letters for freelancing
  • This horse chase sequence is entirely too long
  • The whole wolf scene. I forgot about it.
  • Richard’s sweaters also look hella cheap. Hopefully the costume budget increases in the sequel. Or maybe Old Navy sponsors Aldovia.
  • Do kisses get interrupted in real life like they do in movies? I get the horse neighs and maybe the moment passes, but don’t you still want to kiss? Maybe I’ve been single for too long but after the prince came back after checking on the horses, I’d be like I think we need to re-enter that moment.
  • If you found a scoop as big as this adoption I would not talk to my dumb friends over Skype. Also “this will make your career” because you lied your way into the palace and snooped and stole information. You will break a story but also not be a respected journalist.
  • Of course Amber sees the kiss but not the breakaway. OF COURSE.
  • Also, Sophia calls Amber a peasant. Are real royals that out of touch? Maybe it’s all the inbreeding. I assume in a place like Aldovia that tradition still runs rampant.
  • I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY LISTEN TO YOUR HEART IT ALWAYS TELLS YOU THE TRUTH. Hearts are notoriously stupid. Do not listen to them. Trust your gut. That strange feeling is always correct.
  • I guess you wouldn’t anticipate people coming into your room, but wouldn’t you lock your ID and the adoption papers in a safe somewhere? Seems much smarter to leave everything incriminating on the bed.
  • ALSO Richard falls in love with the very supportive Martha who’s really Amber trying to get details for her story. That’s betrayal.
  • That bracelet looks like something my mom brought me back from the Bahamas when I was 14. Granted, it’s from a little girl, but it falls into the category of things she’ll never wear.
  • I would give up all my wonderful Christmas Eve traditions to go to a Christmas Eve ball. Even Christmas jammies.
  • She looks good, but like everyone turn and stare good? It’s not like she was a hideous troll before. She’s always been very beautiful. She’s just in a dress with a lot of eyeshadow.
  • I like that a piece of drama isn’t Richard and Martha/Amber’s relationship. Clearly Queen Helena thinks it’s chill
  • They spent a lot of that dance swaying back and forth like it was a preteen dance at a firehall
  • I really need to pee
  • I want to be on the creative team who makes up these country names.
  • Simon and Sophia are just watching waiting to spill the secret and it’s super childish. Just shows they are garbage humans.
  • “This Fraudulent Christmas Prince” ROLE CREDITS
  • I feel really bad for Richard. His entire life just fell apart. He’s adopted. The woman he loves has been lying. Everything he believed was true is a lie.
  • WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE APPLAUDING SIMON AND SOPHIA AS NEW ROYALTY?! You just watched them publicly ruin your prince’s life and now you’re like aww this is nice. LIKE WHAT
  • They show so many shots of this statue in front the palace. It’s at least three or four. Always close ups. No wide shots.
  • I honestly don’t hate this scene between Richard and his mom where she explains everything. It seems like he’ll probably need counseling but it wrapped up nicely.
  • One thing I know for sure is Aldovia isn’t an international hub. Those United flights are a sham. You’re definitely flying a terrifying small plane to a major city in a real country.
  • We’re going to fight this by showing up and demanding it’s delayed even though we don’t have any law on our side and then just give up when we’re told we can’t change things.
  • At least these people in the parliament or whatever understand the travesty of this situation
  • How did the king amend a law without anyone else, including the Prime Minister, knowing?? I’m not a monarchy expert, but I feel like you would need at least a discussion about that.
  • Also he’s not blood but he’s a great guy so obvs he deserves to be king – Richard’s dad
  • I really really need to pee but I won’t pause now
  • Further proof Amber is actually a terrible journalist is she works for a horrible magazine and that was probably the only place she could get a job
  • She’s quitting to blog because that’s a completely lucrative way to make money
  • 20,000 likes and she doesn’t have ads. No one cares.
  • Oh wait she works at the restaurant. She has a job. My b.
  • Seven minutes from the end and I had to go to the bathroom. I was sure I was going to pee my pants. Made it, though.
  • I’m not a wine expert but that wine on the table looks like Kool aid
  • Okay so this prince isn’t on the sidewalk. He’s literally standing in the middle of a street
  • “Emily showed me your blog online” the online is redundant doofus
  • They’re still in the middle of the street
  • Okay like do you have to engaged? Can’t you just date?
  • You don’t have a career. You have a blog.
  • “We can come back whenever you want” UH I think you’ll be busy ruling your country
  • Granted, I would definitely say yes to him. He could walk into my apartment right now and if his first words to me were “marry me,” I’d say yes.
  • This ending just reminds that they watch this movie The Princess Switch and everyone is crying because it’s so beautiful. False. There are some makeup scenes that I live for because you can just tell both parties are incredible kissers. This is so-so to the max.
  • Now Netflix is just automatically rolling into The Royal Wedding. It didn’t even give me a choice.

The Princess Switch Review, or thank you Netflix for another gem

Yesterday I had to day off, so naturally I sat on my couch to watch a little Netflix. To my great joy, I saw a new Netflix original Christmas movie had been released. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed an online ad for The Princess Switch featuring TWO Vanessa Hudgenses and I was instantly excited.

This movie did not disappoint.

Basically, The Princess Switch is the plot of every movie you can imagine where two characters share an uncanny resemblance to each other and decide to switch roles. In this case, they aren’t separated at birth twins, but connected probably through a distant cousin. Vanessa Hudgens 1 is Duchess Margaret of a made up country, a duty bound princess-to-be who’s marrying Prince Edward of another made up country. Margaret isn’t made for the spotlight (which we learn through clunky exposition) and wants to know what it’s like to be a regular girl. She bumps into Vanessa Hudgens 2, Stacey, who’s visiting the made up country for a baking competition. Shenanigans ensue.

In typical fashion, I’m just going to bullet point the rest of my thoughts and they definitely contain spoilers:

  • Within the first 20 minutes, John Lennon’s quote ‘Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans’ is mentioned THRICE. Clearly, our characters are going to realize some amazing truths while their plans are disrupted.
  • Aside from that, the real highlight of the movie is at one point toward the end, Margaret-as-Stacey is at home with Kevin, Stacey’s baking assistant and father to Olivia, a little girl who said at her dance class, they danced The Nutcracker as if that’s a casual dance you can do in 45 minutes. Anyway. They go to watch a Christmas movie and Kevin turns on Netflix. The self-referential nature doesn’t stop there. HE CHOOSES TO WATCH A CHRISTMAS PRINCE BECAUSE IT’S STACEY’S FAVORITE MOVIE! LEGITIMATELY THIS HAPPENS! By the end, Maragaret is crying and Kevin is tearing up because who doesn’t love a happy ending. The most unbelievable thing is probably that it’s Stacey’s favorite movie – she’s been set up as a non-sentimental person who doesn’t seem like she has a lot of time for nonsense. And as much as a I love A Christmas Prince, it’s complete nonsense. Can’t wait for the sequel.
  • Everyone falls in love with each other in two days. Kevin and Stacey have been friends since high school, but there’s never been a spark. He’s too go-with-the-flow and she’s too, what he calls, ‘intense.’ As an intense person, this offends me. Once Margaret, somehow a free spirit despite her upbringing, pretends to be Stacey, the sparks begin flying like crazy. Stacey and Prince Edward fall in love because they both love making and keeping plans.
  • Both Stacey and Margaret master perfect accents in the matter of an hour maybe? Margaret is from a fake country that fortunately has a British accent, which Stacey immediately masters. I know we’ve all tried to speak with an accent, and maybe we’re okay for a few words, but it’s a really complex thing. You have to learn the different sounds for all the words. Stacey is Chicago based which in real life means she’s got some hard vowels in her pronunciation, but Margaret immediately drops her royal tone of speaking and sounds just like her.
  • Stacey wears heals while baking all the time and during the five-hour baking competition. More power to you, but also no.
  • At one point when the prince is telling Stacey he wants to be with her, she’s looking at him and tearing up and I really wanted her to start singing any of Gabriella’s sad love songs to Troy, preferably Gotta Go My Own Way.
  • When Kevin finds out he didn’t kiss Stacey but actually Margaret, he’s not immediately sure about everything which makes perfect sense. Unlike Edward and Margaret who were basically strangers, Kevin and Stacey have been BFs forever. He thought he was falling in love with his best friend, someone he knows everything about, but it was actually a stranger. That changes things.
  • There’s a scene where Stacey-as-Margaret and Edward are riding horses and the green screen is so terrible I’m pretty sure I can see the guy dropping fake snow on them from the rafters.
  • Also at one point they go to this really nice toy store and there happens to be a Twister game on the floor so of course they play. Stacey’s in a short skirt and a duchess but that’s no big deal.
  • What I legitimately did like is the conflict resolution. The king and queen find out about the doppelgängers and are wondering what to do when a kindly old magic man who’s helping moving the plot along in every scene convinces them it’s fine. They’ve seen Stacey and their son together and they want him to be happy and in love and don’t care if he’s marrying a duchess or a peasant baker. They convince Margaret (now switched back into her real life) to go with Edward to the baking competition. Before they leave, she explains everything to him. So he’s not surprised at the appearance of both of them (sorry Kevin) and knows he’s in love with her. I really appreciate the more rational, non-dramatic ending of things.

This movie is cheesy and ridiculous but I say two thumbs up watch it now.

A half-review of a show about a half-witch

Basic review: The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina takes the TGIF version you loved and douses it in hell fire and goat blood. If you’re a fan of Melissa Joan Hart, this might not be your cup of tea, but if you enjoy the occult and Riverdale, time to start bingeing.

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Sabrina kicks off her new series at a horror movie during the last week of October. Our young half-witch is about to turn 16 where she’ll sign the Devil’s book and renounce her mortal life. The first few episodes grapple with this understandably complex decision and the remainder of the season is the repercussions.

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We’re immediately introduced to Sabrina and her rag tag group of well-represented companions, including her boyfriend Harvey, and best friends Rosalind and Susie. It’s clear that Sabrina is a good friend who fights against injustice and inequality. This show is incredibly woke, if that’s something people still say.

Okay, so here’s time for my random thoughts and potentially spoilers because I don’t feel like writing a lengthy, spoiler-free and sensical review.

  • If I’m being honest, I don’t know why I watched this over the course of two nights. It wasn’t a bad show by any means. But I wasn’t frantically pushing ‘play next episode.’ There was tension, but no sense of I have to finish watching this. Fortunately my obsessive personality doesn’t need real intrigue to become obsessed.
  • I had to Google if the kid who played Harvey was at least 18 because I didn’t want to feel weird about my feelings. I really enjoy that his relationship with Sabrina is previously established and the first season wasn’t built on will-they-won’t-they. They were just two kids in love and I feel comfortable rooting for them to make it through the series (with teen dramas, you can never be sure and I hate to have my heart broken).
  • I love Sabrina’s character being so confident and aware of who she is. She isn’t having sex but there isn’t a weird pressure and she’s not portrayed as a prude. At one point, she takes off her shirt so Harvey can look for a birthmark, and he takes off his in solidarity. He doesn’t make it weird or try to sleep with her. He just literally checks for a birthmark. Don’t get me wrong, it’s super sensual, but he’s very respectful. A new entry for #notallmen.
  • I spent the first half of the season deciding if it was actually in the 60s or if it was modern day with that suspended in time feeling like Riverdale. Eventually we see Sabrina call Harvey’s iPhone and I breathed a sigh of relief.
  • Speaking of Riverdale, this is shot in the same perpetual sexy haze and it seems almost certain a crossover will occur.
  • Speaking of the sexy haze, one of the biggest complaints was how out of focus certain parts of the scene could be. My eyesight is too good for such shenanigans.
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All I want is for a boy as cute as Harvey to stare at me like this while driving so we can wreck and die and someone will write a love song about our tragic story

  • There were realistic conflicts in this story and believable resolutions. Sabrina raises Harvey’s brother from the dead only he doesn’t have a soul and is now just a zombie. Literally. Once she owns up, he decides to kill his brother and can’t look at Sabrina, which makes complete sense. Her friends find out through ghosts and grandmothers and immediately hear her story and accept her as she is, even when Sabrina tells them about Harvey’s brother.
  • I don’t understand how Sabrina accepts her witch life while also being a mortal. They praise Satan a lot. Like a lot. Normalization is weird.
  • There’s male witch named Nicholas who might be my third favorite character. He’s super into Sabrina, even offering to be her side boyfriend at her witch school, but he’s never pushy or conniving. He even stops other people from getting in her way so she can make things right. When all hell literally breaks loose in town, he goes to protect Harvey for her and does so admirably. He even convinces Harvey to forgive Sabrina. He understands eating another witch out of tradition is weird and doesn’t partake. I would give him a rating of #notallwitches. Nicholas loves witch orgies which apparently are a common thing but really wishes he could experience mortal love, something witches don’t really get.
  • This show is based on some rich witch lore, which I thoroughly enjoy. Salem is back as Sabrina’s familiar, only in this version he isn’t a human trapped in a cats body. Every witch has a familiar to help them and instead of selecting one, Sabrina puts a call out into the world and asks for one who could get along with her, because she doesn’t want to own him like that. Familiars are goblins in animal form and when Salem arrives, he seems like a very tall and awkward and he isn’t a properly trained  familiar, but he’s the best. I like him better than snarky Salem.

I realize there are about a million other plot lines I didn’t talk about, so if you want a real review you should read a real publication. Now for my predictions:

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The GIF above is one of the last shots of the season, after she signs to book and stops being a mortal. Her hair is lightened by all the power she receives and now goes to her witch school full-time. Here she’s winking at Nicholas, who’s upset to see how she’s changed. He liked the different from everyone else Sabrina, not this catastrophe. Prior to this, she says goodbye to Harvey after he tells her he wants to start again. It’s the classic ‘staying away to protect you’ because now she’s so powerful and doesn’t want anyone to get hurt.

Side note but the more I watch that GIF the more it makes me think of this:

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Back to predictions. I think Sabrina is faking it. Her plan before was to figure out how she can beat the devil, and it’s actually not unlikely because apparently she’s the strongest witch of all. She wants to keep her freewill and mortal life and get all the fun of being a witch, and dangit she will figure it out.

We’ll probably start season 2 and she’ll be this changed person, but it will be revealed to Ambrose or her aunts or something her real plan and she’ll be the Sabrina we all know and love. During this time, Harvey might find someone else, driving Sabrina into Nicholas’ arms. I’m okay with this because I really believe Harvey and Sabrina are end game. I think we’re heading to Sabrina becoming the most powerful witch and changing the rules and marrying Harvey.

My plan is now to continue watching, but then again that’s my plan for every show and to date I think I’m caught up with one show. There are just too many, you know?

Philosophy

I went into work without makeup the other night and I received so many compliments about my skin. Typically, compliments like this make me immediately hide behind thanks but it’s actually blah blah blah. God forbid I simply accept a compliment.

But not this time.

My entire life I’ve struggled with my skin. Like most teenagers, acne was my norm and now I’m plagued by constant stress acne on my chin. Not too mention pores you could drown in. Since starting at Sephora, I’ve learned more about how to actually take care of my skin. Most importantly, I’ve realized my skin can get better.

For the past two months, I’ve tried extra hard to maintain a consistent routine with my skin. Even when I’m tired and don’t feel like going through the whole process, I do, and it shows. With the exception of my lack of eyebrows, I’m confident not wearing makeup.

What does any of this have to do with Philosophy? Nothing, but I really wanted to share something that is making me pretty happy. People tell me my skin looks great, and I say thank you, because it does.

My last adventure in trying a skincare brand was Ren and it was such an unknown line to me. This one, however, is basically an old friend. Philosophy was born from leading dermatologists and plastic surgeons who wanted to change skincare treatments.

The result is the top selling facial cleanser sold at Sephora (and maybe it’s reputation is bigger than that, I don’t know. The Purity Made Simple Cleanser is sold in like 20 sizes and is a favorite for its cleansing and makeup removing abilities.

Maybe you’ve also tried the Amazing Grace or Pure Grace fragrance lines? Both SO BEAUTIFUL. They even come in dry shampoos and they’re just lovely. The formula actually works AND your  hair smells great all day.

Now let’s get into it.

Routine

Purity Made Simple Cleanser

Now this is a favorite and that always makes me skeptical (even though Better Than Sex is my favorite mascara ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). At first I thought this would be a disappointment. I was massaging it into my skin and not seeing my makeup moving at all.

And then I rinsed it off.

As soon as the water touched my face, it was like everything melted off, including my extremely water resistant eyeliner. So I get it.

The Microdelivery Exfoliating Facial Wash

A lot of people love this as their primary cleanser because the granules are gentle enough to use everyday if desired. It felt gentle but effective; it didn’t irritate my face and after my skin felt very smooth. Personally, I don’t prefer exfoliating cleansers but this one wasn’t bad.

Purity Made Simple Pore Extractor Mask

This is a recently launched product with a lot of buzz. It’s an exfoliating mask that you apply by massaging into your skin, leaving on for 5-10 minutes and then massaging it off again. Both of these steps are important to make sure your most stubborn pores are properly cleaned out.

When I was done, I massaged it off in my worst pore zones for about two minutes and felt as if I had completely scrubbed my skin off. Not because it hurt, but because it felt like I exfoliated way too much.

Coworkers told me it was what they considered the best mask for pores in store. People swear by this. After two uses, your pores should be cleaner and smaller. But did mine?

Honestly, it’s hard to tell. They seemed less clogged, especially on the sides of my nose, but it’s hard to be sure if it’s just because I wanted to see results. I had a sample made to try it a second time and I’ll try to pay better attention.

Time In A Bottle 100% In-Control

Full disclosure I’ve used this before and I love the way it makes my skin feel a lot. It’s intended for texture, anti-aging and all the good things you like from a good serum. It’s great.

Ultimate Miracle Worker Night

This hybrid serum cream also targets all of those and more. It helps with pores and radiance. It was a little heavy, but I don’t mind night creams/moisturizers being a little bit more weighty as they work overnight. At first I felt greasy, but when I woke up, my skin looked radiant and I think my pores are definitely getting better.

All in all Philosophy was a success, not that I’m surprised. These products are all great and Philosophy is a great brand. Two thumbs up.

Yves Saint Laurent

Few things in life are more satisfying than learning how to pronounce something that has perplexed you all your life. Yves Saint Laurent was one of those things for me (Yves is pronounced Eeves which isn’t actually that complicated at all). Also as a wee lass I believed Yves Saint Laurent was the same brand as St. Ives (you know that skincare brand with the granules that basically cut your face apart).

Today is a momentous occasion because I have made it through all the color brands in my store. Actually I never gave NARS a full day so I guess this is a farce. Too late we’re rolling with it. Unfortunately, I didn’t start this until I’d been through a few so you guys missed Urban Decay, Bobbi Brown, NARS (but did you), Make Up For Ever and Kat Von D. My next step is compiling the best and worst of what I used so some of those will sneak into those lists. Is any of this relevant? Probably not.

Yves Saint Laurent was a man and with his partner he created his fashion house in 1961, quickly rising in popularity. Many fashion houses follow the cycle of clothes – fragrance – cosmetics, but YSL went straight to cosmetics in 1978, following up with fragrance in the early 1990s. Unfortunately, the iconic brand went through some trouble and different creative directors, causing closures the temporary end of the couture line.

My favorite thing I learned about YSL is he said ‘Chanel freed women, and I empowered them.’ Coco Chanel challenged many norms and created silhouettes that were comfortable and not trapped in corsets and YSL sought to make women feel strong in comfortable, especially in his creation of the iconic Le Smoking suit.

I’ve watched a few YSL brand videos since working at Sephora and I love them all. It’s definitely a house with personality, but let’s find out if the products held up.

(They did)

Product List

The Look

Today I did my makeup while sitting on a pile of stools using a cart as a table with a portable mirror. Our backstage area has been leaking and some very hand men were fixing it while I lunched. It was not the best of environments, yet I persevered.


This was another unique entry because every product, no matter how iconic, was a first use for me. I’ve never tried YSL before today and did my best to experience the brand as fully as possible, even though it was missing some crucial items, like eyebrows.

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I started with the basic primer, Instant Moisture Glow (we didn’t have a tester for the Blur Touche Eclat primer, she added bitterly). It’s supposed to make you hydrated and glow (obviously), but it also helps smooth you out. I can’t speak to any of that, but it felt really nice on my skin. I wanted to swim in it.


Next, I went with the favorite Touche Eclat foundation. I’m always ready to skeptical, but today I had no reason. This foundation is worth the hype. I used a 47 foundation brush from Sephora Collection to spread it all over my face and man, was it beautiful. It matched really well and covered without feeling heavy. It was also easy to build, so I could go over where my pores were the most problematic and receive the necessary amounts of coverage. I also used it as an eye primer because I couldn’t find one on the gondola.

To continue to perfect my complexion, I used two more Touche Eclat products, a concealer/highlighter and neutralizer. I’ll preface this by saying I think the Touche Eclat Radiance Pen is beautiful, but for me it just isn’t worth the hype. Neither was the neutralizer (if there is hype there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ). My dark circles remained even after layering.

I’ve really been struggling to have good brows lately, which is a bummer, but without a YSL product I went to my ride or die Anastasia.


I tried a lot of different products on the eyes, and mostly I was pleased. Starting with the metal shadow, I quickly realized it wasn’t the pigmentation I wanted so I went on top with the Duo pen, placing the blush I used as a crease color. From there, I built up the look with the eyeshadow palette and was pretty pleased with the outcome.

Saying that, I will again complain about the tiny size of eyeshadow palettes for high end brands. Plus, this one for like six colors cost $60. That is more than almost every large palette and I don’t understand anything. Yes, they were nice, I liked the look, but not for that much money.


oh and the mascara was nice.OH! I almost forgot to talk about the eyeliner. It was the worst. Traditionally I used liquid liner in a felt tip but this tip dried out so quickly it barely made the line across my first eye. It felt like using a dried up Sharpie and it was the worst. As a point of reference, it was also a new tester and should not have felt that way.

To finish my face, I went back into my Marc Jacobs blush and bronzer uses from yesterday and still loved both products just the same. I’m also really into this bronzer brush from Sephora Collection I may need to buy.

My last step was, as always, lips. I chose the Vinyl Cream Lip Stain for its alleged wear time and comfortability. It applied beautifully and yes, it was comfortable. It wasn’t the most long lasting lip product I’ve used, but considering the cream, non-matte finish, I was impressed.


Everything stayed on fairly well, even after having to take a shower because my sister dyed my hair. I mostly emerged unscathed, complexion still fierce.


Not a bad day.

Probable Purchase

  • Ugh, the foundation. I want to be stronger. But I know.
  • The cream lip stain. It was nice.

Never Again

  • That eyeliner. I can’t even think about it.

Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs is a man and brand that is wildly popular but honestly I don’t know why. I’m not saying that like some fashion snob. I literally don’t know what makes the brand so iconic because I don’t follow fashion houses. But he’s a big deal. Obviously.

Launched almost 15 years ago, Marc Jacobs Beauty came into being while Jacobs was a fashion darling with a successful fragrance line in his back pocket. His youth-meets-sophistication approach was perfect for the cosmetic industry, combing fun pops of color with quality products that will stay on. While the line didn’t officially launch until August, five products were released early and quickly sold out, marking a trend that would continue.

Now he’s pretty much the authority on long-lasting eyeliners, among other notable products. The Highliner Gel Eye Cream is no joke. One morning I was like I can try the under smoke that MJ is currently promoting, but it went horribly wrong and I tried to wipe it off. Only I couldn’t get it off. When clients return it because it wouldn’t stay in my head I’m like, ‘likely story, but I’ve had tattoos fade faster.’

Let’s not forget Velvet Noir, the beloved mascara and recent best seller in the brand. This *might* be my second favorite mascara in store, behind Better Than Sex. I’m also OBSESSED with the coconut bronzer that was limited edition so now I have to cherish it forever.

Enough chit chat. Here we go.

Products Used

Review


I wasn’t actually sure how today was going to go. A coworker suggested the eye palette I used and already I could tell it was going to make my face much more dramatic than I intended. After work I was going swimming and drama eyes don’t really mix, but I went for it anyway.

I love everything coconut, and the fact that Marc Jacobs has an entire line dedicated to fruitnut is incredible. I used the coconut primer for my face and eyes and really enjoyed the application for both. They spread easily and my only real complaint is I wish they smelled MORE like coconuts. Seriously I can’t get enough.

I used Anastasia Beverly Hills for my brows like always moving on.

Because I’ve used the Re(marc)able foundation in the past, I went with the Genius Gel which is medium coverage (compared to full) and helps brighten skin over time. I picked a color that was too light, but it was thin enough I could easily spread it and hide it with bronzer. Saying that, it felt like I had to use a lot of product to get my desired coverage. Like several pumps. It wasn’t like Kat Von D where I can use a drop and Beauty Blender and completely cover my whole face. I know it’s less coverage and buildable, but I like to think one pump should always be enough. The coverage itself was nice, but I wasn’t overly impressed.


The concealers are set up weird and not by palest to darkest, so I was short on time and at a lost. The color I picked wasn’t bad, but it was darker than the foundation. I actually have no opinion it was just there on my face.

To set and prepare for more powder, I used the Featherweight Finish Perfection Powder and this seemed like a real dud. Maybe my brush wasn’t ideal, but it didn’t seem like any of the pressed powder was actually helping to set everything on my face. I couldn’t even tell it was there and when it came time to apply the powders, my face felt sticky.

https://videopress.com/embed/YZQeFNlY?hd=0&autoPlay=0&permalink=0&loop=0
Strangely before I finished my face, I moved to eyes and dove right into the Edgitorial palette. I like Marc Jacobs shadows in general, but these were incredible. It was a nice mixture of sensible and pop so you could create a complete eye look and also have some fun. The biggest downside of the shadows is a seven-pan palette will set you back $49, about the average price of a palette containing double the amount of shadows. The pigment on these are GREAT, but you could really use your money more wisely and go to Make Up Geek.

Also the green/gold color in this is so good. I put it on and it was like BAM PIGMENT LOOK AT ME.

I debated doing eyeliner because it can really just ruin your whole morning, but by the time I finished the shadow I realized I needed a wing to balance the crazy. A lot of people love the Magic Marc’er and I can see why. Even though it was a little dry from being a tester, it was still really really easy to use. Probably one of my fastest wings in a long time. Plus, it held up swimming and that is saying something.


I love Velvet Noir and I used Velvet Noir because there wasn’t a tester for the other one and that’s all I have to say about that.

Strangely satisfied with the eyes, I moved back to my complexion and began bronzing to help my face match everything else. The contour powder was really nice and just blended out so beautifully, I could’ve cried. I used the yellow powder in the pan to brighten my under eyes a bit as well and noticed a difference.


The blush may have been my favorite product of the day. It went on with enough pigment I could see, but not too much that it was like WHOA BLUSH STOP NOW. It was soft and pretty and sadly didn’t really survive the pool, but I still love it anyway.

Another strange product in the is the glow stick highlighter. Don’t get me wrong – my glow is still going strong more than seven hours later, but the application is so weird. It basically looks like deodorant.

To finish everything I used a liquid lip as nude as I could to not overpower my eyes and set everything with the coconut mist.


All in all, today was a success. I like the way it looked + held up as the day progressed, which is good because for these prices it should.

Probable Purchase

  • the blush but you already knew that
  • Magic Marc’er
  • TBH I’d be happy with anything in this line (except that powder)

Bare Minerals

Ugh. I knew this day had to come and I was prepared to hate it. To really emphasize my dismay, I have really dirty hair and a large wide headband to hold my bangs back and I am not in peak form.

A lot of people love and swear by Bare Minerals which is fine DO YOU but personally it’s not my thing and if you’re like maybe this review taught her to feel differently, you’re wrong. Let’s go.

Products Used

Also I used Anastasia Brow Wiz and gel for my eyebrows and Natural Love by Too Faced on the eyes in case you’re wondering why those important features are done without their products listed.

Prime time BB Primer-Cream Daily Defense Broad Spectrum SPF 30, Fair

This was fine. I have nothing else to say. SPF is a nice feature and my skin felt nice after but I wasn’t like sold on it or anything.


Original Foundation, Fairly Light 03

Man  I have no idea how to use loose powder foundation. I did my best. Honestly my skin looked okay kind of, but I think I have too much texture for it to look as good as I would like. But I hated the application. HATED IT.

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Blemish Remedy Concealer, Light

Well-Rested Face & Eye Brightener

Broad Spectrum Multi-Tasking Face, Well Rested

So it weird using a combination of creams and powders on top of powders and by the time I was done my face felt like it was minimum five different colors.


Invisible Bronze Powder Bronzer, Fair to Light

Invisible is the key word here.

Blush, Golden Gate

I think I hated this product the most. Don’t get me wrong – you get a lot of color, but you have to be SO CAREFUL. And I’m a girl who loves her blush, but it was still all over the place and so strong. I had to use the foundation on top to tone it down.


Invisible Glow Powder Highlighter, Fair to Light

Again, invisible is the key word.

Prime Time Eyelid Primer

This created a nice base for my eyeshadow so no complaints.


Lash Domination Volumizing Mascara

People have told me they loved this mascara and I thought maybe this will be a redeeming product, but no. I mean I think they look fine, but I just didn’t like the application at all.

Statement Matte Liquid Lipcolor, Fresh & Luxe

I was also excited about these and chose two colors because I couldn’t choose between them, but you can’t really tell on the lips I have two on. They also didn’t last a super longtime which was a bummer.

So yeah, my opinion of Bare Minerals remains the same. It just isn’t for me.

Lancome

This day started out as kind of a best because I had to work on a Sunday morning which was a huge buzzkill. Not because it was a weekend morning, but missing church is really hard for me because it’s the highlight of my week.

Even so, I plowed through my emotions and used the opportunity to try a new brand in Lancome. While I have used certain products before, most of the line was new for me. In the past, I’ve used the Teint Idole liquid foundation and the Hypnose mascara because I heard it’s what Kim Kardashian uses. This was before I realized that fake lashes are a real phenomenon and I will never look like Kim Kardashian.

Let’s get into it.

Products Used


Visionnaire 1-Minute Blur

I don’t know if my imperfections and pores are just too large to be blurred or if all these products are liars, but I saw no blurring on my skin. Saying that as you can deduce, I never see any blurring effects and it’s sad because I want my pores to disappear. It did, however, feel very nice and create a nice base for my makeup.

Miracle CC Cushion, Yellow 02

Someone used this one me during one of my trainings and I really love it as a color corrector. It does a great job of eliminating minor redness and is lighter and easier to blend than some other formulas.

Teint Idole Ultra Longwear Foundation Stick SPF 21, 110 Ivoire C

Many of my coworkers like this as their favorite foundation, or favorite stick foundation if nothing else. My entire complexion looked nice after Lancome, and while I don’t think it’s my favorite, I liked the blendability and coverage.

Teint Idole Ultra Wear Camouflage Concealer, 090 Ivoire N

I was really tired and sad this morning and this concealer + foundation helped remind my face I was actually alive, which is nice.


Les Sourcils Definis, 106 Dark Brown

The product itself wasn’t bad, but ‘dark brown’ is a stretch.


Star Bronzer Magic Bronzing Brush

Ugh, I didn’t like this at all. It was weird and I ended up putting too much on my forehead and it was very orange.


Blush Subtil, 373 Aplum

This was nice as well. Nothing much more to say.

Click & Glow Highlighting Skin Fluid, Lumieres Roses

I really don’t like liquid highlighters. This one wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t my favorite that I’ve used.

Color Design 5 Shadow & Liner Palette, Taupe Craze

I’ve probably talked about this before, but I hate eyeshadows that aren’t in full palettes or in singles. Five is not enough. I mean I know technically it’s a full eye look BUT I WANT MORE. They were nice and I actually didn’t mind the eye look until I ruined it with the next step.

Drama Liquid-Pencil Longer Eyeliner, Brique & Cote D’Azur

Lancome is known for these nice eyeliners and even though I’m a liquid kind of girl I thought why not. I used a red and blue one because it was so close to the Fourth of July, but it wasn’t good. I won’t blame the product for this because it’s more likely it was my complete inability to use pencil eyeliners.

Cils Booster XL Super-Enhancing Mascara Base

This was a mascara primer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Definicils High Definiton Mascara

I’ve used a few of the Hypnose mascaras before and tried the Definicils. I have no real complaints about the product, but it didn’t provide as much drama as I like.

Matte Shaker High Pigment Liquid Lipstick, 189 Red’y in 5

This may have been my favorite part of the look. I like this formula a lot. It’s matte, but not complete so it looks really nice on the lips. The applicator is weird and the product itself is flammable when liquid so there are some negatives, but I would definitely try it again.

Ren Clean Skincare

I’m going to apologize at the start and say it’s been crazy recently so I haven’t had a lot of time to dedicate to Brand Beat. Saying that, I still want to publish my reviews, but they will be a different style than before.

In a nutshell, I’ve never used any Ren before and I learned from coworkers it’s good for clients with redness and issues like rosacea, so the more you know.

Products Used


Rosa Centifolia 3-in-1 Cleansing Water

I really liked this cleansing water. It seemed to do a good job of removing all my makeup, but I will say it didn’t seem better than other options at a lower price point.

ClearCalm 3 Clarifying Clay Cleanser

This was gentle but when I was done my face felt so so so good. That’s really all I have to say.

Micro Polish Cleanser

So this product technically made me routine a triple cleanse, but my face didn’t feel stripped. It was a very gentle physical exfoliator and after my face felt like baby skin, which is awesome.

Evercalm Ultra Comforting Rescue Mask


Anti-Redness Serum

V-Cense Revitalizing Night Cream

Firm and Lift Eye Cream

Okay so these last three are lumped together because honestly I did this awhile ago and didn’t take good notes. I didn’t have any reactions and everything, again, felt very nice and gentle. Saying that, I didn’t notice anything stand out from the line that I would highly recommend as needing.

If you do have issues with redness and rosacea, than maybe this is the line for you. Who’s to know.